Surviving the Day When Daddy’s Away
Compared to many other families, my husband does not travel much – for which I am eternally grateful! Most years he goes on two one-week-long work trips; some years he might have a third thrown in. However, even when he is “home,” there are still days where he might have to work late, or take a visiting co-worker out to dinner, and boom! I’ve got three kids six & under for the whole day and evening. How do we survive?
Keep Our Routine. Especially when Daddy is gone for a whole week, it’s tempting to throw out the schedule and just do fun things every day; but we’ve discovered that we’re all happier if *most* of the week has the normal flow & routine to it.
Break Our Routine. If it’s just one long day, we usually try to do something “special” to break up the day. If it’s a whole week, I’ll try to think of a couple “special” outings or events we could add to spice up a long week with only Mommy around. Yesterday my husband worked late so I had the kids the whole day, and our special thing we added was… drum roll… driving through Culvers for ice cream sundaes on the way home from Big Brother’s piano lesson. It’s not fancy or expensive but it’s a welcome break from routine.
Easy Dinners. The majority of the days, I make a dinner that Dear Husband and I will like, and the children are required to eat it (at least a small amount) whether they like it or not. It’s good manners practice for them and generally healthy food and it expands their taste buds, all good things! However – at the end of a long day, I generally don’t have the energy to make a dinner that I know my children won’t like if Dear Husband is not there to help alleviate the whining. So, we eat mac ‘n cheese and pizza and chicken nuggets and fruit and I don’t feel bad because we’re all happy and it saves my sanity.
Put the Kids To Bed Early. Dear children, I love you more than life itself but after 12 hours in your company I am SO. DONE. This doesn’t always work every night if Daddy is gone for a whole week, but at least a couple nights I will put them to bed a half hour early and let them read books in their bed for a short time. We don’t usually allow books in bed at their current ages, so it is a special treat for them and also an extra half hour of quiet for me! Win-win.
More Movie Time. We don’t have a TV (which I love) but most days the kids will watch one half-hour show on my computer. When it’s a long day without Daddy, we might add in a full-length movie in the evening, or an extra show or two during the day, and yes, the sole purpose is to give Mommy a break, and no, I don’t feel bad in the least.
Have a Friend Over. When it’s a week without Daddy I usually try to either invite a friend with kids over for lunch or meet up with someone during the day. Even I, as a super-introvert, need some adult conversation during the week! And the kids enjoy playing with their friends, and it breaks up our routine… win-win-win.
Skype/FaceTime with Daddy. The kids love this! They truly miss him when he’s gone for a week. It’s also fun for him to catch up on what they’ve been doing and see any projects/messes/artwork/other destructive behaviors that they’ve been busy with.
Get a Babysitter. I don’t do this every time, but occasionally I will try to hire a babysitter so I can go shopping, or to an appointment, or just to sit in a coffee shop and stare at the wall – all by myself. If we lived near the grandparents I would definitely recruit them for some help, but at this time we are about 400 miles away! Sometimes it might be worth getting a babysitter for some help.
Prayer & Coffee. No explanation needed.
These are our go-to tips that we’ve learned to help us survive & thrive when Daddy’s away. With some creativity, flexibility, and planning, it doesn’t have to be an awful experience – perhaps we can even make some good memories together!
Originally written May 10 2019