Adventures Are Worth It! (Or, Hard Does Not Equal Bad)

It’s been a blur of a month, and somehow we’re at the end of it already! Two birthdays in our house, a visit from my dear mother, an eight-day-long road trip with another family, plus the last couple days of our “regular” school year and we planned and planted our garden. Whew! Here’s a little snapshot – both literal and figurative, I hope you appreciate that – of what we’ve been up to.

Stinker Baby still thinks he’s a newborn and wants to eat multiple times a night, every night. Good thing he’s cute.

Road Trip

I am reminded again that road trips with babies are HARD. It’s a little easier if you’ve got a chill, go-with-the-flow, sleeping-through-the-night baby (we don’t), but even still, the amount of extra gear you’ve got to pack and the frequent nursings, feedings, diaper changes and naps all compound to complicate your plans. Toddlers are a little easier, big kids are even better… but if we waited until we only had big kids around, it would never happen! At least, not until the biggest kids are almost out of the house and graduated. I am impatient and I don’t want to wait that long!

Now, we’ve done a lot of road trips, some with friends and some on our own, and every single time I second-guess myself before it starts. I know what to expect and can predict it now: about two days before we leave, Worry Brain fires up and starts predicting calamities.

Ugh, this is so much work! What if someone gets sick? What if we all sleep terribly? What if our Airbnb is no good? Wouldn’t it be easier to just stay home?

Answers: Yes, someone did get sick. Yes, we did have some nights of bad sleep. Yes, one of our Airbnbs ended up being fairly awful (this was a first for us!). And yes, it would have been infinitely easier to just stay home.

BUT.

What’s easiest is not always best, and hard does not equal bad.

All of these circumstances were hard, and exhausting at times, but they are never as awful as my pre-trip imagination makes them out to be. We shifted our plans, took some extra naps, brewed the strong coffee, found a different place to stay, and made it work.

And in spite of all the times that things don’t go according to plan – maybe because of all those times – we’ve had so many good trips and wonderful family memories. It’s also an excellent opportunity to model for our children flexibility when plans change, persistence when circumstances are difficult, forgiveness when tempers run short, bravery in trying something new, and turning to God in prayer when we have troubles (or in thankfulness when the day goes well!). Of course, we never do all of these perfectly – and we never will – but we try, and we learn and grow along with our children.

I’ve learned to ignore Worry Brain, continue on with our plans, and trust that this dedicated time together is good and worthwhile. And it is! Our trips together have been exceedingly worth it, every single time.

Bottom line: sure, you can find tips and tricks to make trips with kids easier and smoother (here are a few of my own), but ultimately you just need to go do it. The more you do, the better you’ll get at it, and the more your children will get used to traveling – and you’ll make a pile of beautiful memories along the way.

If you are interested in a book that expounds on the many benefits of taking your kids on adventures, both large and small, check out Adventuring Together by Greta Eskridge. I found it to be inspiring and encouraging and by the end of it I wanted to spend even more time with my children. That is the mark of a good book!

Three

Also noteworthy this month was that Little Sister turned three! We’re so thankful for her and for the splash of “pink” that she brings to our lives. This was a long-anticipated milestone: we reminded her frequently over the past few months that when she is three, she will go to Sunday school, and get rid of her pacifier, and learn to go potty. She threw the pacifier in the garbage herself and has done well sleeping without it; Sunday school is going smoothly so far; potty training is still a work in progress. She hasn’t quite gotten the hang of it yet but hopefully she will soon!

Six

Little Brother also turned six this month! I love this age, and this boy. He’s incredibly sweet and thoughtful with his two younger siblings; he works hard to keep up with the two older boys, and he makes us all laugh every single day. It’s also an exciting age as he is just on the verge of independent reading, will likely lose his first tooth this year, and is looking forward to learning to ride a two-wheel bike this summer.

School

We had our “official last day” right before vacation, which doesn’t mean a whole lot except that I took pictures of them. Ha! This last week the boys have done their piano practice, but no other school work. Next week we plan to start our new summer routine which includes a decent amount of “school” but it shouldn’t be too painful. I realized recently that part of the reason I love routines/schedules so much is that it reduces my own Decision Fatigue, which is totally real and extremely, well, fatiguing. Rather than having to think through, every single day, what we should be doing and when, I can decide once on a plan and then not have to think about it again. Hallelujah! Of course, we have the freedom to change it when we want to, or throw it all out and go on a picnic, but it helps immensely to at least have a framework in place. I made a Computer Time Schedule for the boys recently because I was so tired of them constantly asking me every day if they could type, or look at a map, or print a picture of something – and then I would have to actually *think* and decide! Yes or no! Multiple times a day! So exhausting. So now I just tell them what day of the week it is, and have them look at the schedule (“Today is Monday. Today you get to type and print one page.”) and my brain is much happier. Not everything in life can be scheduled or put on auto-pilot, but it’s so relieving to do that when you can. I’ve only got so much brain-power and I don’t want to waste it all on trivial decisions! In related news, we’re starting a new rule for watching shows in the summer: you get to watch a show on any day that it rains. It’s simple to remember and I hope to reduce both the amount we watch and the number of questions I get about watching something.

Garden

I took the children to the garden store last week and they each picked out three kinds of seeds to plant. We found an empty spot for each of them in the garden, and they helped to plant and water the seeds they chose. We are excited to see what grows well this year and hopefully eat a little fresh produce later this summer!

And that’s it for May!

As always, thank you for reading. May your summer be full of sweet memories and adventures with your people!

Originally written May 30 2022